


a rose by any other (user)name

by rtmr



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Chatting & Messaging, Group chat, M/M, Sort of College AU, Texting, im not sure what im doing so, some like...slice of life or something???, why do i love chat fics so much lmao
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-13
Updated: 2018-04-08
Packaged: 2019-02-01 16:57:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,334
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12709074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rtmr/pseuds/rtmr
Summary: [Who ate the last of the left overs, I'm not mad I promise]hunniebustanutcheerios: baek I have a v sincere wishbbh-e-double-hockey-sticks: what is it hunnie my baby my entire world loml :)))hunniebustanutcheerios: plz never make me look at ur username ever again u kno I cant readbbh-e-double-hockey-sticks: hun idk how to tell u this but your username is literally hunniebustanutcheerios :/





	1. Jongin Privilege

 

**[Who ate the last of the left overs, I'm not mad I promise]**

 

 

hunniebustanutcheerios: baek I have a v sincere wish

 

bbh-e-double-hockey-sticks: what is it hunnie my baby my entire world loml :)))

 

hunniebustanutcheerios: plz never make me look at ur username ever again u kno I cant read

 

bbh-e-double-hockey-sticks: hun idk how to tell u this but your username is literally hunniebustanutcheerios :/

 

hunniebustanutcheerios: uhm your point :/

 

doksoo: Guys I guess you haven't noticed, but it is 4 am. Please take me out of this group chat

 

bbh-e-double-hockey-sticks: no???

 

hunniebustanutcheerios: no???

 

hunniebustanutcheerios: then i'd b stuck with a den of snakes

 

junmyeonmyeon: Sehun

 

bbh-e-double-hockey-sticks: jun literally sensed something was wrong with the forsce he actually woke himself up LMAO

 

hunniebustanutcheerios: ofc that doesn't include my other favorite hyung are you having a good night plz get tucked in properly don't wanna catch a cold

 

junmyeonmyeon: thank you, sehun dw about me and go to sleep yourself

 

bbh-e-double-hockey-sticks: not gonna forget that u were literally just shitting on my username u snake

 

hunniebustanutcheerios: n u use literally so much it stopped making sense like

 

hunniebustanutcheerios: don't talk 2 me???

 

jonginini: sehun am I a snake too :(((

 

hunniebustanutcheerios: jongin dont b dramatic u kno I dont mean u smh :'/!!!!!

 

jonginini: I kno lmao

 

bbh-e-double-hockey-sticks: hes just showin off what kinda bias privelidge

 

galaxymantakemebythehand: *priviledge

 

bbh-e-double-hockey-sticks: did you wake pu to correct me ???????

 

junmyeonmyeon: kris...its privilege

 

**galaxymantakemebythehand** has left the chat

 

bbh-e-double-hockey-sticks: OH MFY FUCKING GOD?????????????????

 

hunniebustanutcheerios: thenk u mather for my life........

 

jonginini: kris: gotta bLAST

 

doksoo: I'm putting this gc on mute, good night

 

hunniebustanutcheerios: goodnight my most favorite hyung <333

 

doksoo: Goodnight Hun

 

junmyeonmyeon: what is this hyung privilege I raised u since the day you came out of my loins

 

joginini: hyung ur gonna make the baby cry

 

hunniebustanutcheerios: me im the baby

 

bbh-e-double-hockey-sticks: we get it youre both dum ugly babies together

 

junmyeonmyeon: your big ass head was the most painful push of my life baekhyun and ive never been the same

 

junmyeonmyeon: how dare you call my children ugly after all of my efforts you better guard your phone with your life

 

hunniebustanutcheerios: :))

 

joginini: :))

 

bbh-e-double-hockey-sticks: what is this maknae priblieldge

 

eltaotao: what about me sehun am I a snake :'//

 

hunniebustanutcheerios: yhoure twenty snakes <3

 

jonginini: a damn gorgon lmao

 

eltaotao: what is this jongin privelbeldege

 

hunniebustanutcheerios: hey but rl quick did u wake up just to get attention

 

eltaotao: why else would I even be awake for if not to have someone kiss the ground I walk on

 

hunniebustanutcheerios: :/

 

jonginini: :/

 

bbh-e-double-hockey-sticks: :/

 

junmyeonmyeon: :/

 

kms: :/

 

eltaotao: ….did min wake up just to judge me im so

 

kms: ok im going back to sleep nice talk kids

 

bbh-e-double-hockey-sticks: we're kidding we obv /have/ to like u anyway or kris will skin us so dw tae :/

 

eltaotao: ….tae

 

bbh-e-double-hockey-sticks: oh whoops :)))

 

eltaotao: you say whoops when you do something small and innocent like knock over a cup

 

eltaotao: not when you call one of your very near and dear friends by some other man's name smh

 

bbh-e-double-hockey-sticks: *oh whoopsie :)))

 

hunniebustanutcheerios: tao chill we like u

 

hunniebustanutcheerios: like..........ur valid binch I love u :*

 

eltaotao: im ???? valid?????

 

eltaotao: ur my best friend sehunnie loml :*

 

bbh-e-double-hockey-sticks: hey u cant use loml I did it first u usurper

 

eltaotao: :*

 

jonginini: :(((

 

hunniebustanutcheerios: u kno ur number 1 in my stupid and cursedly big heart >:* loml apple of my eye and other food related love metaphors

 

jonginini: :')))

 

eltaotao: dont!!! steal my moment!!!!!!!!!! homewrecker!!!!!!!!!!!

 

jonginini: the day I was born into this world for sehunnie was the day only we could have moments to cherish together????

 

hunniebustanutcheerios: jongin........................don t do this to me..................im a fragile boy

 

hunniebustanutcheerios: i may look like a handsome stoic god but my insides are held togethere by human flesh n bone

 

eltaotao: ew

 

hunniebustanutcheerios: choke

 

eltaotao: we were having a moment how could u turn him on me jongin

 

jonginini: :')))

 

jonginini: :*** love u sehunnie

 

hunniebustanutcheerios: :'**

 

bbh-e-double-hockey-sticks: thats cute and all but jongin that somehow sounded kinda???? threatening????

 

bbh-e-double-hockey-sticks: r u saying we cant have moments w hunnie?????

 

jonginini: (((:

 

bbh-e-double-hockey-sticks: also hun why did u need 2 respond 2 jongin like that

 

hunniebustanutcheerios: baek thats how the human body works I just happen 2 b stuck in a flesh prison

 

eltaotao: my flesh prison is Gucci

 

jonginini: [0] days without tao saying gucci

 

eltaotao: *Gucci

 

hunniebustanutcheerios: guchi

 

bbh-e-double-hockey-sticks: guckey

 

jonginini: goose

 

eltaotao: blocked, all of you

 

yeolsoul: speaking of blocking, ill block all of you if you dont go to bed and stop blowing up the gc

 

jonginini: didnt sehun block you on ig first tho

 

yeolsoul: im kicking you out of the gc mister no admin privleilges

 

jonginini: hun

 

hunniebustanutcheerios: Chanyeol ((:

 

yeolsoul: I only planned on blocking him a little

 

yeolsoul: for like

 

yeolsoul: one day tops :'((

 

hunniebustanutcheerios: (((((: 

 

yeolsoul: :'(( ok

 

hunniebustanutcheerios: :))))))

 

bbh-e-double-hockey-sticks: how dare you have every other man in this gc whipped sehunnie I was supposed to be on top im small and cute and thicc I have rights dammit!!!!!!

 

hunniebustanutcheerios: please

 

hunniebustanutcheerios: baekie

 

hunniebustanutcheerios: do include urself when you talk about being whipped for me

 

hunniebustanutcheerios: [Screenshot-2017-11-12(1)]

 

 

bbh-e-double-hockey-sticks: what is it hunnie my baby my entire world loml :)))

 

 

bbh-e-double-hockey-sticks: youre a snake????? and last time I checked I was fully human

 

jonginini: baek hyung confirmed scaley

 

eltaotao: baek confirmed scaley

 

yeolsoul: baek confirmed scaley

 

junmyeonmyeon: scaley?

 

bbh-e-double-hockey-sticks: DONT LOOK IT UP

 

bbh-e-double-hockey-sticks: im more offended at the fact that two of you didnt even call me hyung

 

hunniebustanutcheerios: baek confirmed scaley

 

bbh-e-double-hockey-sticks: SH U T

 

bbh-e-double-hockey-sticks: im onto ur act u guys need to wake up and smell the conspiracy

 

jonginini: Conspiracy: local boy snatches the hearts of older men

 

jonginini: wait

 

bbh-e-double-hockey-sticks: THERE IT IS GRAB THE TINFOIL BOYS SEHUN IS A CRYPTID CONFIRMED

 

yeolsoul: how did you get cryptid from potential accusation of sehun being a sugar baby

 

hunniebustanutcheerios: oooh sounds Stylish

 

junmyeonmyeon: Sehun no to both being a sugar baby and a cryptid

 

hunniebustanutcheerios: sorry junmyeon hyung ive found my true calling sorry jongin were breaking up im pursuing a new passion.....

 

hunniebustanutcheerios: blurry photographs of my leisure walks as I serve Looks™ in an expensive faux fur coat

 

hunniebustanutcheerios: im not modeling the camera went off by itself while I was roaming the woods of new jersey

 

yeolsoul: im the one holding the camera

 

eltaotao: does new jersey even have woods

 

hunniebustanutcheerios: were talking about me tao

 

jonginini: thats ok sehunnie be free ill wave you off like a wife seeing her husband off to war

 

jonginini: when will my cryptid husband come back from fake candids

 

junmyeonmyeon: if you guys don't go to sleep soon, im going to each of your houses and talking to your mothers

 

hunniebustanutcheerios: goodnight hyung!

 

jonginini: goodnight hyung!

 

yeolsoul: goodnight hyung!

 

eltaotao: goodnight you weak ass bi ches

 

bbh-e-double-hockey-sticks: ur still saying goodnight tho?????

 

eltaotao: im not an animal baek

 

junmyeonmyeon: Baekhyun.

 

bbh-e-double-hockey-sticks: goodnight hyung

 

hunniebustanutcheerios: I still stand by what I said ur username is ugly baek and I say we vote on it later

 

junmyeonmyeon: Sehun I will go to your room. I have everyone's key.

 

junmyeonmyeon: but we'll vote tomorrow

 

hunniebustanutcheerios: :* goodnight hyung

 

bbh-e-double-hockey-sticks: im clever dammit!!

 

bbh-e-double-hockey-sticks: your name is uglier!!

 

bbh-e-double-hockey-sticks: jun we have to vote on hunnies name too smh!!

 

junmyeonmyeon: if we keep voting on names then we'd end up changing everyone's. Goodnight baekhyun

 

bbh-e-double-hockey-sticks: jun!! unfair!!

 

junmyeonmyeon: okay fine! But if you keep this up im kicking you from the gc

 

bbh-e-double-hockey-sticks: :*

 

bbh-e-double-hockey-sticks: <3

 

bbh-e-double-hockey-sticks: there /is/ justice afterall

 

**bbh-e-double-hockey-sticks** was kicked from the groupchat: [ **Who ate the last of the left overs, I'm not mad I promise** ]

 


	2. Byun Baekhyun is a Life ruiner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hunnie has changed the group chat name to: [Byun Baekhyun ruined my life]
> 
> eltaotao: yeah
> 
> yeolsoul: oh fnly a support group
> 
> doksoo: ?
> 
> junmyeonmyeon: Hun, change the group name, this is a little dramatic

**hunniebustanutcheerios** has changed their name to: **hunnie**

 

 **bbh-e-double-hockey-sticks** has changed their name to: **baekstroke**

 

 **hunnie** has changed the group chat name to: **[** **Byun Baekhyun ruined my life]**

 

 

 

eltaotao: yeah

 

yeolsoul: oh fnly a support group

 

doksoo: ?

 

junmyeonmyeon: Hun, change the group name, this is a little dramatic

 

hunnie: hello everyone I love u except bbh u can jump off a cliff fo r all I care :)

 

baekstroke: :)

 

jonginini: I love u 2!

 

hunnie: not the time jongin im angry!!!

 

hunnie: (buti lvoe u)

 

jonginini: :)

 

hunnie: anyway how could u explain what bust a nut is to jun u snake, how jealous do u have 2 be to do this to me

 

hunnie: he came over 2 my house!!!

 

hunnie: and he even gave me a look of mild disappointmetn!!!!!! do u kno how hurt I was!!!!!!!

 

junmyeonmyeon: that look was warranted young man

 

hunnie: :'(( jun please

 

jonginini: do you awnt me to come over in these trying times

 

baekstroke: u should prly wait until his tantrum is over

 

hunnie: shut ur mouth jongn plz come and hold me back from slapping baeks extensions off of his head

 

baekstroke: ok u kno what! Those extenstions werent even That Bad!!! dont any of u diss them!!!

 

eltaotao: ill die baek

 

baekstroke: well then :)

 

baekstroke: anyway its what you Deserve. my name is also gone but u dont see me holding a funeral for it

 

hunnie: rip hunniebustanutcheerios, u will b mist, u were a rl one while it lasted

 

hunnie: before baekstabber shot u from the skies

 

eltaotao: omg baekstabber...

 

eltaotao: I, for one, vote that to b baek hyungs new name

 

junmyeonmyeon: No

 

eltaotao: :/

 

baekstroke: :* I love u hunnie even with all the thigns u put me thru

 

hunnie: r e j e c t e d

 

hunnie: im kicking u from the gc forever!!

 

baekstroke: thats ok ill just smother u before u can

 

baekstroke: w love ofc

 

baekstroke: bcuz im heading over 2 ur house rn to make u admit that u still love me despite sniping u from 20 miles away

 

hunnie: no!!!!!!!!!!!!! im lockin every door n window!!!!!!

 

jonginini: but hunnie im already omw :(

 

hunnie: text me when u get here!!!! use morse code when u knock, tell me the date n time we first held hands and ill know its u

 

jonginini: I dont know morse code tho :(

 

hunnie: ok ill forgive u this time but u better buck up mister!! make it up 2 me w a forehead kiss

 

jonginini: :)!! im powerwalking as we speak!

 

doksoo: :)

 

junmyeonmyeon: my sons? Theyre so cute....

 

yeolsoul: sure, cute

 

yeolsoul: and also

 

yeolsoul: gags

 

doksoo: Chanyeol

 

yeolsoul: ok im kidding its sweet or whatever

 

hunnie: bitter. Yikes

 

yeolsoul: forgive me hun but not everyhone has found the love of their life and is drooling all over the floor like

 

yeolsoul: you dont have to throw it back in our faces we get it so take it to a separate chat or something

 

baekstroke: Y i k e s!

 

eltaotao: double yikes

 

doksoo: Chanyeol? Sehun was joking, did something happen?

 

yeolsoul: stop

 

hunnie: yeah im sorry hyung I was kidding,, whats wrong ??? :(((??

 

baekstroke: yeah honestly, I dont think I heard u sound so pressed about hunnie n jonginnie

 

baekstroke: u were like their matchmaker :(

 

kms: bad time to enter the gc huh

 

kms: read back what you've said, yeol

 

yeolsoul: ..,

 

yeolsoul: I,, sound like a dick...

 

yeolsoul: okk yeah maybe im not in like

 

yeolsoul: the best mood

 

yeolsoul: and maybe its cause I got like super dumped or st no big deal but uh its all good

 

junmyeonmyeon: oh chanyeol, do you need one of us to go over to your place?? you shouldn't be alone when you're sad

 

kms: im already on my way, so if none of you are here by the end of the night, none of you are seeing tomorrow

 

eltaotao: jun can you pick me up :(

 

junmyeonmyeon: of course, im grabbing my keys

 

baekstroke: well I was arlready planning on dragging hun w me 2 your place to make a pile of sweaty bodies

 

jonginini: Im near ur house too and ive got a backpack full of snacks anyway :(

 

doksoo: Baekhyun, promise me I wont have to sweat with any of you and I'll be there with proper food.

 

baekstroke: done

 

yeolsoul: ,,,

 

yeolsoul: please

 

hunnie: hyung, youre my best friend, why didnt u say anything when we saw eo in class :(??

 

yeolsoul: ugh, because it happened like three days ago way after class and jongin always takes you home so

 

yeolsoul: like, im not blaming u guys or anything but it happened and I didnt even like her that much anyway

 

yeolsoul: so I didnt think it was worth mentioning

 

 **hunnie** has changed the group chat name to: **[** **#LoveandProtectChanyeol Support Squad 2k17]**

 

kms: wordy but true

 

yeolsoul: hun :((!!

 

kms: is there a reason why its affecting you this much, though?

 

yeolsoul: not really, I just liked being cutesy n I miss it,, jongin and sehun are cute like 24/7 n maybe im a little jealous

 

baekstroke: ….

 

baekstroke: not to like

 

baekstroke: dismiss your feelings or anything

 

baekstroke: but u n hun do cutesy shit all the time?? you guys will one day succeed in becoming one single mass

 

baekstroke: /we/ do cutesy shit all the time too

 

jonginini: id be jealous if I didnt know sehun was genuinely clingy n loved u bcuz u were best of friends first :(

 

doksoo: You're one of the few people i've come to tolerate “cutesy shit” from.

 

yeolsoul: ok but,,,im dating none of you

 

kms: Yeah, but we still love you, yeol, and we're willing to be great back up dates until you find someone

 

yeolsoul: thnk u minnie :( <3333

 

kms: ill even let that slide

 

hunnie: yeol well go on a friend date when ur up to it! ill even let u spend money on me :(

 

yeolsoul: I dont know why that actually made me cry wt fuck? Like rl tears wt???? fuck?????

 

yeolsoul: like my hearht is so full of love im touch staruved and I love my fiiren d ds,,

 

baekstroke: I saw a blur as I reached huns house

 

baekstroke: it was sehun running towards his soul mate omg

 

eltaotao: he doesnt even have the leg muscles to support himself how is he running

 

jonginini: hunnie is the literal embodiment of love and friendship :(! I love u sehunnie

 

baekstroke: uhm excuse me

 

jonginini: >:(

 

baekstroke: ok u right

 

hunnie: ilmm love uu 2

 

baekstroke: hes texting even tho hes running like his life depends on it omg???

 

hunnie: imkl lvoe all uof u! Sdo jot that ndoewn!!

 

yeolsoul: thank you guys

 

yeolsoul: I love you :(

 

eltaotao: :) <3 (jun also sends a :) <3 but he's driving)

 

jonginini: :) <3!!!

 

kms: :) <3

 

baekstroke: :) :* <3

 

hunnie: :_,_))& :* <3

 

doksoo: We love you, too

 

doksoo: <3

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uhm idk i wanted to be funny and this is unfortunately what happened lmao
> 
> i love chanhun w all my life and heart so jot that down
> 
> im also gonna try n post angst in the form of another fic so im sorry in advance im not v good at actual writing lmaoooo
> 
> where are the rest of the members???? uh,,


	3. :^)c oh?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lovelyhyung: …,
> 
> lovelydongsaeng: …
> 
> lovelydongsaeng: :^)c
> 
> lovelyhyung: Well
> 
> lovelyhyung: Goodnight

**[hardworking hyung who I love]**

 

 

 

lovelyhyung: Sehunnie, are you still with Chanyeol?

 

lovelydongsaeng: oh hyung!!!! u messaged me first omg

 

lovelydongsaeng: n u guys just left here hmmmmm

 

lovelydongsaeng: im gonna sleepover tonight tho!!!! gotta look out 4 one of our pups

 

lovelyhyung: I'm glad you're taking care of him

 

lovelyhyung: Hun,

 

lovelyhyung: How is Chanyeol? Did he seem better after we left?

 

lovelydongsaeng: I mean u didnt join the pile of limbs but hell live lmao

 

lovelyhyung: Sehun

 

lovelydongsaeng: ok ok yeah hes better were just spoonin a little rn, u dont have 2 stress out

 

lovelydongsaeng: hes a little quiet n like super hyperfocused on the tv but hes doing better dw

 

lovelyhyung: Of course I'm worried,

 

lovelyhyung: He's our friend..I just want to make sure that we didn't leave too soon when he's not feeling well

 

lovelyhyung: I'm sure the other guys messaged after they left as well

 

lovelydongsaeng: :^)c

 

lovelyhyung: ??

 

lovelydongsaeng: its nothing soo :^)c

 

lovelydongsaeng: idk if anyone has mssgd yeol yet since its been

 

lovelydongsaeng: ten minutes??? I mean if something were wrong im sure jun would sense it first as the Resident Mom Friend™

 

lovelydongsaeng: n nini has only managed to send me 2 snaps of him pouting bcuz I didnt go home w him

 

lovelyhyung: Best friends do take priority, especially when they're down. I'm sure he understands

 

lovelydongsaeng: nini's not rly bummed out tho he knows mine and yeols love is rl

 

lovelydongsaeng: I love him only a little less than my actual soul mate

 

lovelydongsaeng: oh but im srue the guys will message sometime soon:^)c

 

lovelyhyung: uhm,

 

lovelyhyung: Ok, so long as you guys are alright. Make sure to eat the leftovers for breakfast

 

lovelydongsaeng: (lookin at yeol)

 

lovelydongsaeng: what leftovers your cookign is like yeols biggest pleasure in life

 

lovelydongsaeng: we have a spread of the food on the bed its getting kinda,,,,,

 

lovelydongsaeng: steamy ;)))))O()*^%

 

lovelyhyung: Sehunnie?

 

lovelydongsaeng: H E KCIKED ME OFF THE BE D AKSDJFLKJ APPARENTLY I WAS TAKING UP SPACE FOR HIS FPRECIOSU FOOD

 

lovelydongsaeng: I mean nothing to this man.

 

lovelyhyung: ah...

 

lovelyhyung: I'll bring something tomorrow, then

 

lovelyhyung: Seeing as Chanyeol lives alone and you boys wouldn't be able to stick two pieces of bread together for a sandwich

 

lovelydongsaeng: omg..........shade..................uv hurt me soo..............

 

lovelydongsaeng: u right tho

 

lovelydongsaeng: but! we have u why would we worry when we can take advantage of our amazing and talented n handsome hyung :^)c

 

lovelyhyung: One of these days, someone will be able to say no to you

 

lovelydongsaeng: not in the foreseeable future

 

lovelydongsaeng: I am the v defintion of charming :))))))

 

lovelyhyung: Jongin truly is in trouble

 

lovelyhyung: You're a threat, Sehun

 

lovelydongsaeng: ;)))))

 

lovelyhyung: As I was saying, earlier

 

lovelyhyung: that is

 

lovelyhyung: Right now, we should focus a bit more on Chanyeol

 

lovelyhyung: Seeing as he's always the one lifting our moods

 

lovelydongsaeng: uv never talked this much and its about yeol omg

 

lovelyhyung: I'm just saying, he always goes out of his way to be positive,

 

lovelyhyung: So,,

 

~~lovelyhyung: If anything happens, call me~~

 

**[Delete message? Yes]**

 

lovelyhyung: Call us if you guys need anything

 

lovelydongsaeng: oh a deleted mssg 

 

lovelydongsaeng: I love secrets

 

lovelyhyung: It was a typo, nothing more

 

lovelydongsaeng: hyung …..............no one types w perfect grammar n spelling nowadays that s not hip

 

lovelydongsaeng: like get w it lets keep it *~*~*~*~punk~*~*~*~*~

 

lovelyhyung: ...

 

lovelydongsaeng: :/

 

lovelydongsaeng: I told yeol ull b bringing us the Feast Of The Decade tomorrow n I swear I saw stars in his eyes

 

lovelydongsaeng: never has a man loved food more than hes loved me until now smh

 

lovelydongsaeng: compared 2 ur cooking im [1] celery stick ontop of an entire jar of mayo

 

lovelyhyung: My cooking is ok at best,,

 

lovelydongsaeng: so modest 2 :^)c

 

lovelydongsaeng: oh no

 

lovelyhyung: Did something happen? I'll be there if you need me to.

 

lovelydongsaeng: omg no its just that yeol is so excited how is he going 2 go 2 sleep now I shouldnt have said anything about the food :/

 

lovelydongsaeng: Guess Ill Suffer

 

lovelyhyung: .,,Well...

 

lovelyhyung: Make sure to bundle up tightly, tonight and let Junmyeon know if Chanyeol needs another 3 hour pep talk

 

lovelydongsaeng: ok :^)c

 

lovelyhyung: Why do you keep using that?

 

lovelydongsaeng: nothing soo ur a rl good friend!!!

 

lovelyhyung: I'm just trying my best

 

~~lovelyhyung: I'd do anything to Chanyeol~~

 

**[Delete Message? Yes]**

 

lovelydongsaeng: UD DO WHAT NOW 

 

lovelyhyung: I'd do anything for Chanyeol....as I would for all of you guys

 

lovelyhyung: Merely a typo

 

lovelyhyung: …,

 

lovelydongsaeng: …

 

lovelydongsaeng: :^)c

 

lovelyhyung: Well

 

lovelyhyung: Goodnight

 

 

 

**[Billy Rae Cyrus is dead and Baek pulled the trigger]**

 

 

 

 

tallbinch: BA E K

 

smallbinch: WHAT

 

tallbinch: [Screenshot-2017-11-14]

 

tallbinch: [Screenshot-2017-11-14(1)]

 

tallbinch: [Screenshot-2017-11-14(2)]

 

tallbinch: [Screenshot-2017-11-14(3)]

 

tallbinch: :^)c

 

smallbinch: >:^O

 

smallbinch: HE TALKE AD ABOUT YEOL FOR AN HOUR OMG?????????????

 

tallbinch: I KNO WE WERENT EVEN TALKING ABOUT ME

 

tallbinch: my man has been.....snatched.........................

 

tallbinch: im dropping yeol faster than I can slutdrop smh so much for bffs

 

smallbinch: u ungrateful hoe uve got jongin n yet ur so greedy

 

smallbinch: let soo make that flower................. bloom ;)

 

tallbinch: ur on thin ice bitch

 

smallbinch: ok im sorry omg sehunnie I love u :*

 

tallbinch: >: [….......

 

smallbinch: omg...............................tahst literally u................oh my god............

 

tallbinch: SH UT STOP TYOPIGN I FORGOT

 

tallbinch: SOO DELETED THE BEST PART OF THAT CONVO B4 I COULD SCREENSHOT IT

 

tallbinch: U KNO THAT PART WHERE HE SAYS HED “DO ANYTHING FOR CHANYEOL”????

 

tallbinch: guess what h e said first...............................

 

smallbinch: he'd do “anything to chanyeol”

 

tallbinch: how diD U KNO????????????????

 

smallbinch: DID HE RLY SAY THAT I M SHAKING

 

smallbinch: BI CHT IM PSYCIHC

 

smallbinch: oh my god im so powerful

 

tallbinch: u been reading gay shit again havent u

 

smallbinch: uhm excuse me

 

smallbinch: its erotica and its classy

 

tallbinch: Uhm. Ok.

 

smallbinch: sehunnie respect me or ill tell jun that for ur first time ur using my books as referecne (((:

 

smallbinch: n then ull have 2 suffer through a birds and the bees lecture like I did

 

smallbinch: u kno I never recovered

 

tallbinch: KLSJDLJFJKG U LEFT THEM IN MY ROOM I

 

tallbinch: WAS HOLDIG ONG TO THEM FOR U

 

smallbinch: hm (((: !

 

tallbinch: LET S GET BJ AKC TO THE RL TOPIC

 

smallbinch: (((((: (

 

smallbinch: sigsh omg tho..........like..........................does ksoo have feelings for yeol..................like I ahvent even processed that u n jongin are dating

 

smallbinch: bcuz weve been friends for like the longest now

 

smallbinch: im just...Shook….......like it took yeol to have a mini crisis for soo to become obviuos.????

 

smallbinch: how long has he liked(?) yeol.............

 

tallbinch: I kno sometimes even I dont believe nini is dating me

 

tallbinch: and now ksoo n yeol :^)c

 

smallbinch: :^)c

 

tallbinch: n then god said, "give the gays what they want"

 

smallbinch: ldskjfkaKLJSDFK

 

tallbinch: soo was so lowkey for so long /HOW/

 

tallbinch: do u think its bcuz chanyeol got dumped 

 

tallbinch: like i kno yeol said he didnt like her that much but they were dating for months

 

tallbinch: n its unusual that he stay single for more than [one] day

 

tallbinch: n now that yeols single n looks like he will b for a while its like

 

tallbinch: a dam of gay feelings burst in our tiny friends heart :^)c

 

smallbinch: im going 2 write about this in my journal omg 

 

smallbinch: just like i wrote about u n jongin when u were still pining over eo

 

tallbinch: what 

 

smallbinch: ill show u later ive made copies 

 

tallbinch: .....

 

smallbinch: BUT 

 

smallbinch: u kno somehow it makes sense,,

 

smallbinch: rmember when ksoo used to bully yeol?

 

tallbinch: thats right omg he's always been soft for the babies of the group that I forgot 

 

tallbinch: but he bullied all of u???

 

smallbinch: YEAH but like his main target was yeol for a long while we even teased them about it buz it was like

 

smallbinch: soos fav past time

 

smallbinch: until jun had a sit down w him bcuz yeol was seriously depressed that soo didnt seem to like him at all

 

smallbinch: n it turns out hes just shy n didnt kno how to respond to a 2 story tall pole of energy n memes hidden in a trenchcoat

 

tallbinch: now the tables have turned since were the ones who prank him

 

smallbinch: our soft boy,,,,,,,,

 

tallbinch: tender n mild.............

 

smallbinch: festive...........

 

tallbinch: oh yeol kicked me off his bed earlier just so he could lay w his mistress, ksoos cooking

 

tallbinch: n now that hes finished hoeing it up hes crawling back 2 me :/

 

tallbinch: the disloyalty.....

 

smallbinch: go 2 ur man........bcuz ur the sidechick n u kno ur gonna let him into ur arms again

 

tallbinch: god u nko me so well im always a slut for my friends

 

tallbinch: well goodnight ill keep reporting the hot goss

 

smallbinch: I love u >:* goodnight bitch!

 

tallbinch: I love u 2 bitch >:*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao the quality of this fic is getting worse idk how 2 b funny but uh i guess this is more like.........development???? ill do better next time..............
> 
> its rly awkward sounding and more like n outline so plz forgive me,,,,i wanna include some past stuff sometime lmao so i hope u catch those hints ,,,,,,
> 
> i kno it seems like chansoo has won out but honestly??? im still debating the pairing for chanyeol so
> 
> ill edit this later (read: delete) when i can properly think but for now imzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz


	4. As Seen On TV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [credit or debit only!!]
> 
> hunnie: one of u better get here w/ a minimum of twenty bucks on ur cards
> 
> baekstroke: arent u still w yeol???? hes rich just reach into his jacket or st
> 
> hunnie: he lost his wallet n I cant use cash smh
> 
> yeolsoul: totally unavoidable circumstances
> 
> hunnie: you flushed it in the toilet

**[credit or debit only!!]**

 

hunnie: one of u better get here w/ a minimum of twenty bucks on ur cards

 

baekstroke: arent u still w yeol???? hes rich just reach into his jacket or st

 

hunnie: he lost his wallet n I cant use cash smh

 

yeolsoul: totally unavoidable circumstances

 

hunnie: you flushed it in the toilet

 

hunnie: how it didnt clog the entire thing is a miracle

 

yeolsoul: …

 

junmyeonmyeon: did you at least cancel your cards

 

yeolsoul: …

 

yeolsoul: I mean...........whos gonna go through the sewers and happen upon my cards.................

 

baekstroke: idk i heard its a pretty popular hang out for clowns yeol

 

hunnie: yeah, baek could easily find them and spend your money, yeol :/

 

baekstroke: E X C SUSE ME

 

jonginini: I felt that one omg.......

 

eltaotao: baek hows it like being fuckin dead

 

kms: kids.

 

hunnie: :)))

 

baekstroke: >:/

 

doksoo: …

 

doksoo: You do realize you have to replace your cards, Chanyeol

 

yeolsoul: ,,,

 

yeolsoul: I know that,,,

 

hunnie: looks at jun hyung

 

hunnie: can u at least pm me ur card info its rly important

 

junmyeonmyeon: the last time I lent you my card you bought Jongin the most ridiculous glass life sized bear in existence

 

junmyeonmyeon: It was gaudy and horrendous, I didn't even know that was an actual thing you could buy

 

hunnie: it was commissioned nini loved it

 

jonginini: thank you hun it was beautiful :')

 

eltaotao: yeah im glad you enjoyed it for like all of two hours until it somehow ended up toppling off the roof of yeols house

 

eltaotao: chanyeol's front lawn is like a minefield of health hazards

 

yeolsoul: I still cant walk through the grass im afraid of splitting my leg open

 

doksoo: I can go over and help you if its still a problem Chanyeol

 

yeolsoul: oh uh, nah its not rly that bad anymore,,

 

hunnie: :^)c

 

baekstroke: :^)c

 

jonginini: ??

 

hunnie: (ill tell u later)

 

jonginini: ok :Oc

 

doksoo: ,,

 

eltaotao: I would like 2 inform u that visiting yeol requires hella commitment so plz, soo, save him

 

doksoo: I'll make sure to come by soon

 

yeolsoul: :( ok

 

jonginini: hey that whole thing was not exactly entirely my fault

 

jonginini: in fact i did nothing wrong :((

 

hunnie: we know this and we love u

 

baekstroke: first of all, WHEN did this happen

 

baekstroke: second of all, jun can I borrow your card also for v important reasons

 

hunnie: it happened like months ago but u were too busy having a life n dating boys you big gay

 

baekstroke: tragic :/

 

hunnie: :/

 

kms: You're dating jongin, sehunnie

 

hunnie: oh fuc now im the big gay dating boys and having a life

 

jonginini: :))

 

hunnie: u have ruined me kim jongin

 

jonginini: ( u3u)

 

hunnie: ( u3u)~

 

junmyeonmyeon: Not to get side tracked but no to both of you

 

junmyeonmyeon: I'm stressed enough as it is

 

eltaotao: oh lol is this about zyx again loloololol

 

junmyeonmyeon: …

 

hunnie: oh??????????

 

jonginini: oh?????????

 

junmyeonmyeon: I'm having... a bit of trouble communicating with Yixing, that's all

 

eltaotao: hes rly cute ...eyes emoji,,,

 

eltaotao: he makes me sweat hyung,,,ive seen him dance

 

junmyeonmyeon: I will have you Blocked, tao

 

baekstroke: OOOOOOh my gosh yeah that man.....................makes my heart do gay feelings..........

 

yeolsoul: oh ??????????????

 

baekstroke: [Image Sent]

 

baekstroke: [Image Sent]

 

baekstroke: [Image Sent]

 

yeolsoul: eyes emoji

 

doksoo: .

 

hunnie: oooooh he's a transfer or st

 

hunnie: why does it feel like you have more pics baek

 

baekstroke: (:

 

jonginini: hes kinda dazed like, all the time

 

jonginini: but hes a rly nice guy whats wrong with him :((

 

baekstroke: absolutely nothin is what hmmmMMMM

 

yeolsoul: hMMMMMMM

 

junmyeonmyeon: Can you guys concentrate for a bit? Yixing and I have a major project coming up and honestly, I

 

junmyeonmyeon: Kind of wanna flip him into a bottomless pit.

 

jonginini: you sure you dont want 2 flip him

 

jonginini: sexually

 

jonginini: eyes emoji

 

hunnie: eyes emoji

 

yeolsoul: eyes emoji

 

baekstroke: eyes emoji

 

eltaotao: eyes emoji

 

kms: Yixing can be a little hard to talk to, even though his language skills are technically really good

 

kms: Kris is friends with him, so if there's something going on, I suggest you take it up with the big guy

 

junmyeonmyeon: I like Kris being blocked in the gc though

 

junmyeonmyeon: For once I know peace from being hit on...

 

hunnie: wow ungrateful put on your rock climbing gear and mount that b4 he realizes ur an unironic church boy

 

junmyeonmyeon: Sehunnie (:

 

jonginini: Junmyeon (:

 

junmyeonmyeon: (:

 

jonginini: (:

 

eltaotao: oh I dont like whatever this is

 

hunnie: jun hyung :(

 

junmyeonmyeon: .

 

junmyeonmyeon: what is it, hunnie :)

 

baekstroke: AT LEAST STAY MAD AT HIM FOR MORE THAN 2 MINUTES

 

eltaotao: he's the youngest u swine itd b petty to stay mad

 

baekstroke: ill have you know I have ignored sehunnie for more than 24 hours

 

hunnie: he didnt have his notifs on for one day but I kno u were watching baek

 

hunnie: u cant deny your love for my ass

 

jonginini: yeah “baek” I have unfortunately witnessed nonplatonic behavior and ill have to ask you to keep it to a minimum u fiend

 

baekstroke: ok ill

 

baekstroke: admit it

 

baekstroke: but thats like, the only meaty part of sehun (aside from his tiddies but I wont get into that) its honestly????????????? like a mystery

 

eltaotao: ripleys believe it or not

 

yeolsoul: jongin im sorry to say this but,

 

eltaotao: butt

 

yeolsoul: huns butt has been our one joy even before u claimed exclusive rights to it so :/

 

yeolsoul: first come first serve right

 

jonginini: ill be seeing you at school hyung (:

 

junmyeonmyeon: I felt attacked on Hunnie's behalf

 

kms: Awful how I felt Chanyeol waggle his eyebrows

 

baekstroke: yeol has always been a little bit of a fucc boi get w it yall

 

doksoo: It's just a joke, you don't really go around grabbing other peoples butt, right?

 

hunnie: oh boy sorry 2 inform but this man is................an opportunist

 

jonginini: hm (: !

 

doksoo: hm

 

yeolsoul: dont!!! make me sound like some player smh im just out here having a good time w what god has to offer

 

junmyeonmyeon: OK since I don't want this gc to devolve into a passive aggressive chain of replies

 

eltaotao: uh

 

junmyeonmyeon: let's get back to what I was saying,

 

kms: translation, “we're not talking about me so let's talk about me”

 

junmyeonmyeon: minseok

 

kms: alright baby, what's up with yixing anyway

 

junmyeonmyeon: I'm having trouble getting him to focus on our group project, and I'm beginning to go bald from the stress!!

 

junmyeonmyeon: Every time I ask for his number it's as if I never asked in the first place and now I can't even hunt him down

 

hunnie: would it be so bad if you, idk, got an average grade???? when ur ceo that b+ will mean absolutely nothing

 

jonginini: hun, this is /jun/ were talking about

 

eltaotao: he stresses out when hes not kissing ass in class

 

yeolsoul: sick rhyme

 

eltaotao: thanks B)

 

doksoo: Minseok told me about the time in high school when he freaked out his teacher because he obsessed over being teachers pet, so she moved him to an AP class so she'd finally breathe

 

eltaotao: LKJLKSJDKLF LMAOOOO SOO WHAT DO YOU HAVE AGAINST HIM

 

baekstroke: jun hyung hadnt even said anything to soo and yet soo was READY

 

yeolsoul: oh my???? god jun,,????

 

junmyeonmyeon: minseok! Dont lie to the kids like this!!!

 

kms: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ is it a lie if it really happened?

 

hunnie: min hyung...........mercy on juns behalf omg.........

 

jonginini: cant believe u guys have been friends since u were babies

 

jonginini: the Betrayal

 

junmyeonmyeon: Unfortunately.

 

kms: Junmyeon, you have to compromise because I'm not gonna give out Yixing's number, and Kris is inexplicably the closest to Yixing, personally

 

eltaotao: b tch I would literally succ kris if I coiuld get yixing's number

 

hunnie: ok tao we get it terrible for u that kris has better taste even tho hes wasting his time :/

 

eltaotao: shut!!!!!!!!! up!!!!!!!!!!

 

eltaotao: u were literally telling jun to jump him

 

hunnie: but thats cuz hes so high strung hell fucking burst if a man even breathes in his direction

 

junmyeonmyeon: I'm showing your mother the kind of language you're using in public

 

hunnie: this is a private group chat I can say what I want!!!  
  


jonginini: let him say fuck!!

 

baekstroke: let him say fuck!!  
  


eltaotao: let him say fuck!!

 

yeolsoul: let him say fuck!!

 

doksoo: let Sehunnie be responsible with the language he chooses to use

 

kms: translation, “let him say fuck!!”

 

junmyeonmyeon: you're all terrible influences corrupting my baby, I'll block you all

 

hunnie: if im your baby does that mean that youll lend me ur card info :)))

 

junmyeonmyeon: Sighs

 

junmyeonmyeon: Why did you even need money in the first place?

 

hunnie: as seen on tv sand

 

jonginini: OOOHHHHH please junmyeon hyung

 

baekstroke: COME THRU JUN

 

yeolsoul: !!!!!!!!!!!! HYUNG !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

eltaotao: HYUNG B THE COOL PARENT FOR ONCE

 

doksoo: I also am curious about the as seen on tv sand, I've never touched it before

 

yeolsoul: only in our most wildest dreams, soo

 

doksoo: our dreams,,

 

kms: junmyeon spread your wealth

 

junmyeonmyeon: Oh my god...

 

junmyeonmyeon: I am literally raising children

 

junmyeonmyeon: Don't you guys dare gang up on me like this

 

junmyeonmyeon: If you guys want it so bad, why not pool your money together to get tons of it? You're all adults here

 

hunnie: but hyung :”(

 

jonginini: hyung :”(!!

 

kms: junmyeon

 

junmyeonmyeon: …

 

junmyeonmyeon: cant I win for once ?

 

hunnie: :')) I love u jun hyung~!!

 

jonginini: :') <3~!!

 

junmyeonmyeon: Fine but any mess you're going to make stays outside of my house.

 

baekstroke: MAKNAES COME THRU BIH

 

yeolsoul: for once im proud of our mom friend for being cool

 

doksoo: I can also try to buy the sand next time I get my pay from my part-time

 

yeolsoul: :O!!!!! soo ill lvoe u forever!!!!

 

doksoo: ,,

 

hunnie: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

baekstroke: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

yeolsoul: man if we get enough sand, we can literally create quick sand and see if any of us drowns

 

hunnie: tbh like I have not encountered one (1) dirt pit of deaht in my life and its about time we do something about it!!!!

 

jonginini: hun no!!!!

 

doksoo: junmyeon hyung and I are not buying sand so you guys can try to see who can drown the fastest

 

yeolsoul: :(

 

hunnie: :(

 

junmyeonmyeon: Thank you for being sensible, kyungsoo, it's a dangerous and ridiculous thought

 

doksoo: at least create a dummy with weight equivalent to that of an average adult male and see if it will sink in the sand

 

doksoo: we can print out a picture of someone's face on it so it seems more realistic

 

junmyeonmyeon: KYUNGSOO

 

yeolsoul: OHHHH I volunteer to get a dummy made in my likeness

 

kms: works for me

 

baekstroke: ur already a dummy made in ur likeness

 

yeolsoul: ill kick you into the sun baekie

 

baekstroke: but like, anyway

 

baekstroke: have u seriously thoguth of the logistics of someone sinking in as seen on tv quicksand before soo im a little scared

 

baekstroke: like we'll b drowning a channie look-alike.....

 

doksoo: I can admit I never pictured chanyeol sinking in quick sand, at the very least. If anyone's getting their picture put on the dummy, I've already got someone in mind

 

doksoo: :)

 

eltaotao: im getting chills

 

eltaotao: the real fear factor are the friends we lose along the way

 

doksoo: hm

 

hunnie: sweats,,,,

 

hunnie: hyung

 

doksoo: dont worry sehunnie :)

 

jonginini: ┌(;･_･)┘ runs to hun

 

baekstroke: why do u hav e to be so ominous soo!!!

 

yeolsoul: chill guys

 

yeolsoul: ur reading too much into this u__u)

 

doksoo: Thank you, chanyeol

 

doksoo: :)

 

yeolsoul: :O!!!

 

hunnie: :^)c

 

baekstroke: :^)c

 

eltaotao: :O??

 

jonginini: hun :'( I feel left out

 

hunnie: ill pm u later!!

 

jonginini: :( ok ok,,

 

junmyeonmyeon: why would you need to pm Jongin later when you can just say it in the group chat?

 

hunnie: its top secret info jun!!!!!!!! that I can only trust my nini with!!!

 

jonginini: :)!!

 

eltaotao: oh thank god I thought we were gonna have a situation

 

baekstroke: same,,

 

yeolsoul: I dont think my heart could take teen angst

 

hunnie: oh yeol....u r the teen angst

 

yeolsoul: ?????????

 

junmyeonmyeon: it can't really be that secret, hunnie

 

kms: I think I can guess what's going on, but I love keeping things from Jun so I'm not going to say anything here either

 

junmyeonmyeon: I never could trust you since those times you'd race me to see who could finish their ice cream the fastest

 

junmyeonmyeon: Only for you to purposely lose and then eat your ice cream while I watched you

 

kms: you're the one who kept falling for it :))

 

junmyeonmyeon: We were six!

 

hunnie: min hyung you were playing jun's heart strings even before you could do time tables

 

baekstroke: thats so wild

 

doksoo: I respect that

 

yeolsoul: but soo that sounds so tragic :(( having to watch someone else eat their ice cream and ur just a baby

 

doksoo: I said I respect it, however, I suppose it is a bit mean

 

yeolsoul: u should apologize to six yr old jun min hyung :(

 

kms: Survival of the fittest

 

eltaotao: lmao why u changin attitudes so quick tho soo eyes emoji

 

hunnie: tao why was ur eyeliner uneven when I last saw u

 

eltaotao: why do you Hurt™ me like this

 

baekstroke: nice hun :^)c

 

hunnie: :^)c

 

jonginini: <:'^(c ??

 

hunnie: thats the spirit jongin

 

jonginini: :^)c~<3!

 

junmyeonmyeon: None of you have helped me with my problem and I'm going to spend my money on all of you

 

baekstroke: practice for the therapy

 

kms: sucks for future you I love my therapist

 

kms: we're just a bunch of assholes

 

junmyeonmyeon: :/

 

jonginini: :(

 

hunnie: he doesnt mean u jongin were thrilled ur here

 

jonginini: :D

 

baekstroke: im going 2 cry jongin we love u

 

eltaotao: is it weird that I can physicaly feel the sun shine through jongins reply

 

doksoo: no

 

hunnie: no

 

yeolsoul: jongin we love u :(

 

junmyeonmyeon: alright guess i'll just!

 

junmyeonmyeon: scream!

 

hunnie: sorry hyung :(

 

jonginini: ur the best hyung :)

 

hunnie: were only mean to u bcuz ur soft n we love u

 

kms: you're okay

 

junmyeonmyeon: .,,

 

baekstroke: hes crying

 

eltaotao: eyes emoji

 

junmyeonmyeon: I'm fucking crying

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> its been a hot fucking minute since i posted a new chapter for this bcuz i just generally cringe when i reread this!!!!!
> 
> but i gotta live w it >:( so i might as well!! update!!!
> 
> anyway im trying my best!


	5. Family Dynamics

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> junmyeonmyeon has change the group chat name to: [I'm out for blood and no one will ever find the body]
> 
> junmyeonmyeon: I'm going to strangle Zhang Yixing
> 
> baekstroke: kinky ;))))
> 
> junmyeonmyeon: Byun.

**Message to:** **kris (don't interact)**

 

Junmyeon: Kris, I need a favor

 

kris (don't interact): oh?? so now you come crawling back to me

 

kris (don't interact): I knew you'd eventually give in B)

 

kris (don't interact): what do I get in return B)

 

Junmyeon: I will go out with you for a total of two hours if you give me Zhang Yixing's phone number

 

kris (don't interact): uh im totally willing to go out with you if you insist

 

Junmyeon: I'm not.

 

kris (don't interact): but why do you need some other guy's number

 

Junmyeon: Don't get it wrong, we're just doing a group project together and I need to ask him about a few things, nothing more

 

kris (don't interact): hm

 

kris (don't interact): if I do, can you also change my name in your contacts to kris <3

 

Junmyeon: Don't push it

 

kris (don't interact): okay its a deal

 

kris (don't interact): ive wanted to take you to one of my basketball practices to show you what a real man looks like in action B)

 

kris (don't interact): youll be my personal cheerleader

 

kris (don't interact): besides, from what I remember, I dont even need two hours to have you screaming my name

 

Junmyeon: Kris, you know that when I see you, I will make you eat dirt and you will have deserved it.

 

kris (don't interact): that's fair

 

 

 

 

**[Add New Contact]**

 

Name **Zhang Yixing**

 

**[Save]**

 

**Message to: Zhang Yixing**

 

Junmyeon: Zhang Yixing. It's Kim Junmyeon, we share a class

 

Zhang Yixing: ??

 

Zhang Yixing: hello?

 

Junmyeon: What do you mean 'hello'?

 

Junmyeon: You blow me off for ages and you only say 'hello'???

 

Zhang Yixing: am I not supposed to say hello?

 

Zhang Yixing: aren't you the guy that's been asking for my phone number?

 

Zhang Yixing: how did you even get it?

 

Junmyeon: I asked Kris

 

Zhang Yixing: but why would he give it to you??

 

Junmyeon: Look! I should be the one asking you questions instead of the other way around!

 

Zhang Yixing: oh, okay

 

Zhang Yixing: but i'm not available, so im sorry, but I cant go out with you :(

 

Junmyeon: …

 

Junmyeon: I'm going to lose my mind

 

Zhang Yixing: hey, it's okay, don't let rejection stop you from putting yourself out there :)

 

Junmyeon: Are you thick??

 

Zhang Yixing: no not really, i'm on the thinner side :(?

 

Junmyeon: I MEANT ARE YOU SERIOUS?? I'm not asking you out!

 

Zhang Yixing: oh? oh! then why have you been asking for my phone number? I thought you were just being persistent

 

Junmyeon: We're in the same group for a presentation and we haven't even done anything! How can you not know this!

 

Zhang Yixing: I don't remember having a group presentation :(?

 

Zhang Yixing: are you sure?

 

Junmyeon: Yixing.

 

Junmyeon: Have you not checked the professor's groups list? It's been pinned on the board, we had a sheet given to us with our names, we've gotten emails, announcements...It's literally our final presentation.

 

Zhang Yixing: really?

 

Junmyeon: ...

 

Zhang Yixing: oh! what do you know, you're right!

 

Zhang Yixing: you should have just said so :)

 

Zhang Yixing: we should probably start on it since we only have a week left, lol

 

Junmyeon: Okay, sure, I'll get back to you in a bit so that we can arrange a time and date to actually see if we can make the deadline

 

Zhang Yixing: i'll leave it up to you then :)

 

 

 

 

**junmyeonmyeon** has change the group chat name to: **[I'm out for blood and no one will ever find the body]**

 

junmyeonmyeon: I'm going to strangle Zhang Yixing

 

baekstroke: kinky ;))))

 

junmyeonmyeon: Byun.

 

yeolsoul: :O!!

 

eltaotao: rip baekkie omg

 

kms: what happened?

 

junmyeonmyeon: I finally got a hold of Yixing

 

junmyeonmyeon: Not only did he think I was asking him out, but he didn't even know we have a project together

 

junmyeonmyeon: Then! He acts as if I'm the one at fault!!

 

yeolsoul: sucks :/

 

eltaotao: ^

 

hunnie: I want to laugh but hyung is so stressed out

 

junmyeonmyeon: Well, thanks for holding back, I guess

 

hunnie: I promise ill get you some chocolates :) <3

 

junmyeonmyeon: ...thank you, hun :') <3

 

hunnie: im getting nini another candy care package cuz were going into dance practice in a few anyway

 

hunnie: its a surprise

 

junmyeonmyeon: Of course.

 

doksoo: We're all in the same group chat, how is it a surprise

 

hunnie: nini dont read the chat!!!

 

jonginini: okay hun :))!!

 

baekstroke: ur both so dumb :/ <3

 

yeolsoul: >:/ <3!!!

 

kms: anyway, your misunderstandings are cleared up and you can finally work on this, at least

 

junmyeonmyeon: ….

 

junmyeonmyeon: Yeah, well,

 

junmyeonmyeon: Yixing's not the only one stressing me out

 

baekstroke: I was just kidding earlier jun :((

 

junmyeonmyeon: I know, I shouldn't have snapped at you

 

junmyeonmyeon: I meant kris

 

kms: what about kris?

 

junmyeonmyeon: …

 

kms: you actually got yixing's number from kris??

 

junmyeonmyeon: I got Yixing's number from kris.

 

doksoo: ...what did you say to actually get it from him?

 

eltaotao: oh ive read enough fan fics to know where this is going

 

baekstroke: eyes emoji

 

hunnie: eyes emoji

 

junmyeonmyeon: I agreed to go out with him once

 

hunnie: OOOOOH MYYY GODD W

 

hunnie: WHEN IS IT

 

baekstroke: how will you even survive hyung he's literlaly twice as tall as you

 

yeolsoul: eyes emoji

 

 

 

 

**Message to: Minseok hyung**

 

Soo: Are you okay? With Junmyeon going out with Kris?

 

Soo: Minseok hyung?

 

Minseok hyung: yeah, of course i'm okay

 

Minseok hyung: i'm the one that suggested myeon talk to kris in the first place

 

Soo: It's not like you expected Junmyeon to go on a date with him, though

 

Minseok hyung: mm

 

Soo: You can talk to me if you need to

 

Soo: I know how hard it can be

 

Minseok hyung: thanks, soo

 

Minseok hyung: i'll be okay, don't worry

 

 

 

 

**[I'm out for blood and no one will ever find the body]**

 

eltaotao: gross :/

 

hunnie: wow you cant sense the jealousy at all :/

 

junmyeonmyeon: We're just going out for all of two hours, in public, where I am as far away as possible and Kris would get arrested if he did anything

 

hunnie: :/

 

yeolsoul: :/

 

baekstroke: :/

 

eltaotao: >:/

 

doksoo: That's not so bad?

 

kms: i'd rather kris got arrested

 

kms: not that i'd want junmyeon to suffer a whole lot

 

kms: just a little

 

junmyeonmyeon: What do you have against me? I don't want to suffer whatsoever!!

 

junmyeonmyeon: But here I am. No moral support.

 

kms: but here we are

 

kms: I could toss him in a river if you want, but you're not exactly asking

 

junmyeonmyeon: I'd rather just get the whole ordeal over with

 

junmyeonmyeon: But I might end up taking your offer -1 minutes into the “date”

 

hunnie: wouldnt u need a whole ladder just to come up to kris's knees tho min

 

kms: sehunnie, I can show you whether I need a ladder or not, meet me by the river (:

 

hunnie: I am............so sorry..............................

 

kms: (:

 

jonginini: get to practice quick so I can keep u safe hun :(!!!

 

yeolsoul: boi as if ud actually survive min hyung's attack

 

jonginini: id put up a good fight >:((

 

hunnie: he'd put up a good fight >:((

 

baekstroke: rip sekai we knew u well :/

 

hunnie: but I rly do gotta blast!!!! ttyl!!!!!! ill visit u after practice w candy jun hyung!!!

 

junmyeonmyeon: make sure to keep hydrated!

 

kms: make sure to watch your backs

 

junmyeonmyeon: min don't threaten my sons >:(

 

yeolsoul: since jun is obv the mom of the group will kris be the dad

 

baekstroke: eyes emoji

 

baekstroke: answer the question jun eyes emoji

 

eltaotao: dont anser the question im 2 young for this conversation

 

junmyeonmyeon: When did we /all/ have a family dynamic??? And why am I always the mom???

 

kms: ever since you attempted to adopt sehun and jongin, and you were only half joking

 

doksoo: Only Minseok hyung could make Junmyeon stop

 

kms: besides, didn't we agree that if anyone was the dad, it'd be me

 

kms: are you guys tossing me away already

 

junmyeonmyeon: I don't even think I was even a part of this family role hand out conversation

 

yeolsoul: just like u wanna toss kris into a river??

 

yeolsoul: no we love our small hyung

 

baekstroke: besides no one can take u on

 

junmyeonmyeon: Alright, guess I'll mute the chat

 

eltaotao: guys think about min's feelings for once

 

junmyeonmyeon: ….

 

baekstroke: subtle, we all kno uve been scopin out kris since day one tao :/

 

baekstroke: thats ur future step dad u heathen

 

eltaotao: nooooo we agreed that min hyung was the dad, we cant suddenly change the rules just bcuz of 1 man

 

doksoo: If that's the case, with Minseok and Jyunmyeon, then it'd just be two dads shooting each other bad jokes and threatening each other every other gc session

 

baekstroke: once again, soo back at it again w the tea

 

yeolsoul: min ur 2 cute to be dad :(

 

kms: chanyeol you'll be next on my river body dump hit list (:

 

yeolsoul: its been rl guys

 

baekstroke: omg..........this family is breakin apart n its all due to a 3 meter tall pole

 

eltaotao: what is even the point of todays gc smh

 

eltaotao: weren't u saying something about yixing jun??

 

eltaotao: lets get back on that topic

 

baekstroke: eyes emoji

 

kms: yeah, let's hear what you have to say jun, you've been pretty quiet

 

kms: we know you love talking about things that happen to you

 

baekstroke: HEY WAIT a dam minute

 

baekstroke: junmyeon...my lovely parental figure....you, who can do no wrong.............

 

junmyeonmyeon: I'm not giving you Yixing's phone number.

 

baekstroke: JUN PLEASE PL SEAS ON MY LIFE

 

junmyeonmyeon: You can ask kris, or just wait for yixing after our class ends

 

baekstroke: I cant ask kris hes our dad thats 2 embarassing 

 

yeolsoul: lmao yeah then baek would have to do st naughty w kris just for xing's number like hyung

 

yeolsoul: eyes emoji

 

doksoo: chanyeol,,

 

yeolsoul: what????

 

junmyeonmyeon: .

 

junmyeonmyeon: ok

 

junmyeonmyeon: You guys, I have to start gathering materials for the project, I'll talk when I can

 

kms: jun??

 

[ **Junmyeonmyeon** has left the group chat]

 

 

baekstroke: ..,,,did we go 2 far??

 

doksoo: He was definitely upset

 

eltaotao: :(((

 

kms: he is

 

yeolsoul: hes been stressed so I guess we just wanted to tease him :((

 

baekstroke: besides, going out w some1 doesnt seem bad??

 

yeolsoul: we were acting like 12 years olds tho,,,this is...bad…………...

 

doksoo: Chanyeol, you really put your foot in your mouth

 

yeolsoul: I realized,,

 

eltaotao: maybe he just doesnt like kris

 

yeolsoul: then why go out at all?,,

 

kms: ...

 

yeolsoul: am I wrong??,,

 

kms: i'll talk to him

 

doksoo: Min,,

 

kms: you guys do the same

 

yeolsoul: ok hyung :(( ill try my best to make it up to jun

 

yeolsoul: I didnt mean to make things harder for him,,

 

kms: I know yeol

 

baekstroke: ill go aplogize w yeol in person too :((

 

doksoo: I'll go along with them, then

 

eltaotao: hey me and ksoo were the only ones not teasing jun about kris

 

kms: tao

 

eltaotao: ...yeah I kno

 

 

 

 

**Message to: myeonie**

 

minnie: junmyeon, I'm coming over

 

myeonie: I said I'm going to gather materials in the gc

 

minnie: then why did you leave the gc altogether?

 

myeonie: I don't want to be distracted

 

minnie: i'll help you

 

myeonie: We don't even have the same classes, what do you know?

 

kms: jun

 

myeonie: ,,I'm sorry, I just feel like I don't know what to do next

 

minnie: I know, it's okay, but i'm still going over, and you can't burrow into your pile of dirty clothes to hide from me

 

myeonie: I don't do that,,

 

minnie: anyway, since when can you stop me from doing something?

 

minnie: i've been forced enough times to quiz you on your classes to know some things

 

myeonie: I'm just tired, min

 

minnie: I know

 

minnie: and you need someone to stop you from running yourself ragged, so I'm going over there

 

minnie: mostly to give you a break, make sure you sleep and on your actual bed and not on a pile of laundry

 

myeonie: ...Why can't you be this nice to me every once in a while?

 

minnie: I am but it doesn't get through to your thick head

 

minnie: forget it. I'll be there soon

 

myeonie: Thank you, min

 

minnie: we've been friends for too long, so what is there to thank me for if I'm just doing my job

 

myeonie: <3

 

minnie: <3

 

 

 

 

**Message to: Soo**

 

Minseok hyung: what am I doing

 

Minseok hyung: he's so dumb but im so much dumber

 

Soo: Mood

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well i cant say im too surprised about this whole lay out mirrorin chanyeols day but now coming in more ~*~*~*~feeling~*~*~*~ flavors
> 
> idk????????? idk!!!!!!!!!!!! if i should just tag these implied ships but uhm maybe next chapter lmao 
> 
> anyway, some boys that are bad at feelings and other boys that are just plain bad at getting a hint 
> 
> and one boy that ive completely turned into a fucc boi
> 
> its been pretty productive

**Author's Note:**

> yall...i kno chat fics are becoming a thing but ive wanted to do one theyre fun and i love them :* first fic, some mistakes (unintentional typos or st) will b made lmao dont call me out on them im actually just a dumb person lookin to write st to destress ok bye


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